Exciting baseball news!

 And, no, it's not about Fred McGriff sailing into the Hall of Fame on a unanimous vote.

It's abo-

"No," you're saying.

About th-

"If you say the words 'Pittsburgh Pirates', I swear I'll scream," you're saying.

About the Pittsb-

"GAAAAAHHH!!" you just screamed, right on cue.

Because, yes, Blobophiles, the exciting baseball news IS about the Pittsburgh Pirates. My very own Cruds! Worst organization in MLB, with the most  money-grubbing owner! Transfer portal for future stars to all the real MLB clubs!

Well, guess what? 

They're gonna get a chance to shove even MORE future stars into that portal!

This is because, in the first MLB draft lottery yesterday, the Cruds did something with which they're highly unfamiliar, They actually won.

 They drew the No. 1 pick in next year's draft, and suck on that, losers. This of course means the Cruds will have the pick of the 2023 litter, which in turn means one of two things:

1. They'll pick a kid who'll develop some sort of baroque chronic injury and flame out in high-A.

2. They'll pick a kid who'll blossom into Mike Trout or Fernando Tatis Jr., and then, when it's time to pay him Mike Trout or Fernando Tatis Jr. money, they'll trade him to the Red Sox. 

Or the Yankees. Or the Dodgers. Or some other franchise that's serious about winning.

But today is not the day for such gloomy thoughts. Today, my Cruds are actually winners.

Pardon me while I gloat. I get so few chances, after all.