Outrage outage

 The first College Football Playoff poll is out, and calm is mostly upon the land. Except for Paul Finebaum's head exploding, it's disappointingly un-contentious out there.

"Who is Paul Finebaum, and why is his head exploding?" you might be asking now.

Paul Finebaum is America's foremost SEC shill, and so the sight of Ohio State and Indiana from the Big Arithmetic Challenged coming in 1-2 in the first poll no doubt has him re-enacting a scene from "Scanners," the greatest head-exploding film of all time. This is especially true of Indiana, whom Paul thinks is an utter fraud who will surely be exposed this week ... OK, next week, then ... OK, next week then.

But the Buckeyes are 8-0 and the defending national champs, and Indiana is 9-0 and crushing everyone who gets in their way by eleventy gazillion points. So of course it makes total sense they'd be 1-2 in the first CFP poll, and no one but Finebaum could possibly have an issue with it.

Which is the problem here.

See, this first poll seems so well-duh for the most part there's hardly any outrage over it, and outrage is what makes college football fun. But this first poll seems to be suffering from a distinct outrage outage.

The first four teams -- the bye teams -- are Ohio State, Indiana, unbeaten Texas A&M and once-beaten Alabama. Georgia, meanwhile, is fifth. This seems so entirely inarguable it's almost ... um ... OK, boring.

And elsewhere?

The only serious quasi-controversy is BYU coming in at No. 7, which a lot of folks would consider four or five places too high. Oh, sure, the Cougars are 8-0 and going through the Big 12 like you-know-what through a goose, but they've got a big one this week at Texas Tech, who comes in as the 8th seed in the first CFP poll.

If the Cougars lose -- and they well could -- then the CFP seedings re-set themselves and BYU will no longer be seventh and, well, problem solved. Everyone will forget how mildly annoyed they were at the Cougars' lofty place in their first poll.

The Blob, meanwhile, only hopes subsequent polls maintain the respective positions of Notre Dame and Indiana, because as the seeding currently stand there's a good chance they'd play one another in the second round. This would be a rematch of last year's first-round game, in which the Irish easily dispatched the 11-1 Hoosiers in South Bend.

But Notre Dame would have to come to Bloomington this time, and the Indiana team it would face is several degrees better than the one the Irish faced a year ago, especially on defense. On the other hand, Jeremiyah Love and Jadarian Price are several degrees better, too, comprising as they do the best running back tandem in the college game. Who wouldn't want to see that collision?

"Paul What's-his-name?" you're saying now.

Well, OK. Maybe him.