And now this week's edition of "The NFL In So Many Words," the relentlessly unending Blob feature of which critics have said "I will END you!", and also, "How 'bout I relentlessly inject my foot up your a**?":
1. "Dear god, will this horror never end?" (Browns fans, after the even lowlier New York Jet beat the Brownies on a punt return for a score and a kickoff return for a score)
2. "I will END you!" (Browns head coach Kevin Stefanski, presumably, to his special teams coach)
3. Meanwhile, the Mike McDaniel Era!
4. Relentlessly refuses to end as the Dolphins somehow beat the Buffalo Bills by two touchdowns.
5. "We will END you, you relentlessly disappointing Bills, as soon as we finish getting totally s***faced and jumping half-naked onto card tables!" (The Bills Mafia fan base)
6. The Broncos beat the Raiders 10-7. The Eagles beat the Packers 10-7. The awful Saints won on the road against the wait-I-thought-we-didn't-suck-anymore Panthers; Jonathan Taylor ran for eleventy-hundred yards and scored three times as the Colts beat the Falcons in overtime in Berlin; and the Lions ball-peened the Commanders 44-22 in front of President Donald J. Trump, who was booed by the Commanders' fans.
7. "Listen to them booing the Democrats! What fun!" (President Trump)
8. "10-7? Really? I skipped a house payment so I could sit in the nosebleeds and watch 10-7?" (Eagles, Broncos fans)
9. "I thought you were supposed to tackle him." "What? No way, I thought you were supposed to tackle him." "Well, I definitely wasn't supposed to tackle him, I know that." (The Falcons defense)
10. "Dear god, will this horror never end?" (Panthers fans, for whom the suckiness apparently remains ... relentless)
No comments:
Post a Comment