Everyone's a fraud

 Your ninth-ranked Notre Dame Fighting Irish barge into Pittsburgh today to take on the 23rd-ranked, 7-2 Pitt Panthers, and everyone says this is a must win for both even if Pitt coach Pat Narduzzi doesn't seem to think so, on account of (to paraphrase Walter Sobchak from "The Big Lebowski") it's not a league game, Smokey.

(Although it kinda is, because Pitt's an ACC school and Notre Dame kinda-sorta is, because even though it claims it's independent in football it plays half its schedule against ACC schools. So, you know ...)

Anyway.

Anyway, this game is a very big deal for Notre Dame, which put itself in a hole in regards to the College Football Playoff by losing its first two games. True, the two losses were to 16th-ranked, 7-2 Miami and third-ranked, 10-0 Texas A&M, by a total of four points. But two losses are two losses.

And besides, everyone knows Notre Dame is a TOTAL FRAUD.

This is what some folks are saying out there in the great wasteland of the intertoobz, and by golly they're adamant about it. According to the Some Folks, Notre Dame hasn't beaten anyone who's any good. It's been one long run of the Little Sisters of the Poor and the Even Poorer Little Sisters of the Poor, to hear them tell it. I mean, Purdue?

Come on now.

So, yeah, the Irish are as phony as canned Guinness. And, by the way, that Texas A&M team that beat them way back in September?

The Aggies are phony, too.

So is top-ranked and unbeaten Ohio State.

So is second-ranked and unbeaten Indiana.

So are Alabama, and Georgia, and, oh, heck, name anyone. Not a single one of 'em has actually had to beat anyone to achieve their lofty standing, according to Some Folks.

Sure, Alabama's only lost one game, but it was to the Florida State Train Derailments. And Georgia's only lost one game, too, but it was to the same Alabama team that lost to the Derailments. At home, no less.

And don't even get Some People started on A&M, Ohio State and Indiana.

The Aggies are nothin' but glue and crepe paper, too, because they've beaten a bunch of teams who were so lame they'd either fired their head coaches or were about to. Plus they almost lost to Arkansas, for God's sake.

As for Ohio State, well, who have the Buckeyes beaten? OK, Texas, but even Texas is only 7-2. Other than that, it's been a bunch of lousy pudknockers from the lousy pudknocker Big Ten.

Indiana?

Same deal, only worse. Heck, the Hoosiers did Notre Dame one better, opening the season by playing the So Poor The Even Poorer Sisters Of The Poor Won't Claim Them As Kinfolk. Like, three straight times.

Then it was on to the same lousy pudknockers Ohio State's gotten fat on.

In other words: Everyone's a fraud. Which means the CFP will be a big ol' punchline this year.

Except ...

Except, when you look at Notre Dame's schedule, four of the seven teams they've beaten like throw rugs have winning records. 

And when you look at 'Bama's schedule, you'll find that win at No. 5 Georgia, plus a road win at No. 14 Missouri and wins at home over No. 16 Vanderbilt and No. 11 Tennessee. 

And Georgia hasn't lost since losing to Alabama.

And A&M has beaten everyone except Notre Dame, Arkansas and Auburn by at least two touchdowns, including three teams that were ranked when the Aggies played them.

And five of Ohio State's nine wins have come against teams with six of more wins.

And Indiana beat then-No. 9 Illinois (6-3) by 53 points ... and beaten then-No. 3 Oregon (9-1) by 10 on the road ... and they've pounded all the teams they should have pounded: Michigan State (38-13), UCLA (56-6) and Maryland (55-10). And they escaped the upset last weekend at Penn State, whose 3-6 record is something of a mirage because almost all the players who got the Nittany Lions to the national semifinals last year are still around.

But, yeah, the Hoosiers are a fraud. Everyone's a fraud.

You just gotta know where to look. And where not to.