And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the intermittently redemptive Blob feature of which critics have said "More intermittent, less redemption," and also, "How 'bout I intermittently redeem your face with my fist?":
1. "Well, I'll be. He's NOT dead!" (Millions of viewers watching Patrick Mahomes beat the Lions with four total touchdowns)
2. "Well, I'll be. I'm NOT dead!" (Patrick Mahomes)
3. "But I might be!" (Justin Fields, after passing for minus-10 yards for the unredeemed Jets, who even clear across the Atlantic continued to Jets it up in a dreary 13-11 loss to Denver in London)
4. "Flash in the pan? Flash in the pan?? I fart in your general direction!" (Jaxson Dart, saying, um, something like that after passing for 195 yards and a score and rushing for 58 yards and another score as the suddenly not-Giant-y Giants humiliated the Super Bowl champion Eagles 34-17)
5. In other news, the Bears beat the Commanders on a walk-off field goal by a backup kicker as Caleb Williams outplayed Jayden Daniels; the Panthers beat the Super Bowl-bound Cowboys as their tiny, tiny suddenly-not-too-tiny quarterback, Bryce Young, threw three touchdown passes; Jonathan Taylor kept being Jonathan Taylor and Daniel Jones kept being Not That Daniel Jones as the Colts kept rolling; and Drake "Hey, Look, We Got A Quarterback Again!" Maye led the Patriots to another road win with another stellar day: 18-of-26, 261 yards, three scores, a 140.1 passer rating.
6. "Hey, look, we got a quarterback again!" (Patriots fans)
7. "Ha!" (Bryce Young, Caleb Williams, the Bears' backup kicker)
8. "Ha-ha!" (Jonathan Taylor, Daniel Jones, the Colts)
9, "Hey, what about us? We beat the Bills and made Josh Allen look human!" (the Atlanta Falcons)
10. "OK, FINE. You can have a 'Ha!', too." (Blob management)
I (heart) the Blob
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