The Geezer Bowl

Ah, the jokes, the jokes. Got 'em all lined up here in preparation for tonight's big soiree on NFL Thursday Night Football, which the Blob hardly ever watches on account of there might be a big East Carolina-Sam Houston State intersectional clash in college football, which plays every day of the week these days, too.

Not tonight, though. Tonight, the Blob might actually tune into TNF for a series or two. Because how often in the En Eff Ell do you get to watch two guys with walkers clomping around in prime time?

("Wait, that wasn't supposed to be one of the jokes!" -- The Blob's inner voice)

("OK, so maybe it was" -- Also the Blob's inner voice)

Anyway ...

The point is, it's Steelers vs. Bengals tonight, which means it's also Aaron Rodgers vs. Joe Flacco, who are both older than dirt. ("Hey!" says dirt, in an offended tone). Rodgers is, I don't know, 57 or something. Flacco might be 157 for all we know. Both of them, at any rate, have more gray in their beards than Robert E. Lee.

("That's not one of the jokes, either!" -- More inner voice)

Thing is, for senior citizens, they're both getting around fairly well. Flacco won the starting job in Cleveland, lost the starting job in Cleveland, then was traded to the Bengals last week. He'd with the team approximately five minutes when he started for them up in Green Bay.

The Bengals lost, 27-19. But Flacco went 29-of-45 for 219 yards and two touchdowns.

And Rodgers?

Beat the Browns 23-9, going 21-of-30 for 235 yards and two scores. Which moved the Steelers to 4-1 on the season.

So, yeah tonight's Geezer Bowl might not be as geriatric a spectacle as anticipated. Which is why the Blob is finally going to get the jokes out of the way now:

1. What's the secret to Aaron Rodgers' longevity?

A) Spite.

B) Some weird peyote/ginger root/velvet leaf concoction produced by secret cult of  ancient Mayans.

C) Metamucil.

2. What is Joe Flacco's favorite expression when his receiver runs the wrong route?

A) Consarn it.

B) Dadburn it.

C) These kids today.

3. What did Rodgers say when he called that timeout?

A) "I have to pee."

B) "It's 9:30. Time for bed!"

C) "It's 11:30. Time for Carson!"

4. Why is Joe Flacco yelling and shaking his bony fist at the sky?

A) JaMarr Chase went running off on some silly pass pattern and forgot to fix his dinner.

B) The Steelers are in his backfield.

C) Those damn kids are on his lawn again.

And last but not least ...

5. Who will we see on the commercial breaks in tonight's game?

A) Joe Namath talking about those Medicare benefits you might not know about.

B) Marlin Perkins in a Mutual of Omaha ad from 1964.

C) Sam Elliott (and Sam Elliott's voice) introducing the exciting new line of DeSoto automobiles.

Th-that's all, folks!