Sunday, March 12, 2023

Spoiled meet(ing)

 Pssst. Hey, Penn State. Come over here. I got sumpin' to tell ya.

The state of Indiana thinks you suck.

The state of Indiana hates the crazy way you play basketball, and your stupid campus in the middle of nowhere, and what the hell is a Nittany Lion, anyway? A housecat in a sweater?

We hate you because you jack up threes like they give 'em away free, and yesterday you hit a pile of 'em, and you knocked off 3-seed Indiana in the Big Ten Tournament. This was partly the Hoosiers' fault, because once again they couldn't put two coherent games back-to-back. But it was mostly because you Nittanies outscored them 24-6 from the arc, outrebounded them 38-30 and made the free throws at the end to get yourselves home.

Mostly, though, we hate you because now we won't get Purdue-IU III in the Big Ten Tournament title game. 

Which promised to be even better than "Creed III," and which everyone in Indiana was eagerly awaiting because it would give us one last chance to hate on each other.

("Boy, you people from Indiana sure do a lot of hating," you're saying now.)

("You have no idea," the Blob responds. "Our legislature even hates school librarians.")

Anyway ...

This was supposed to be Boilers vs. Hoosiers. Purdue grads vs. IU grads. IU fans saying Purdue is overrated and Zach Edey is just a lamppost with arms, can't really play basketball the way Trayce Jackson-Davis can; Purdue fans saying, yeah, well, how come he went for a combined 59 points and 34 rebounds in two games against IU -- and, oh, yeah, those candy stripe pants look REALLY STUPID.

Now we won't get any of that.

Now it'll  be Purdue vs. you Nittanies, which is a nice storyline -- lowest seed ever to win the title if Penn State pulls it off -- but not the blood sport all of us in Indiana were looking forward to.

So, yeah. Thanks a LOT, Penn State. Thanks for spoiling our meet(ing).

Maybe your Valley is Happy. But you trashed ours.

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