Monday, November 7, 2022

The Turk cometh?

 Sooo. Apparently offensive coordinator Marcus Brady was NOT the problem in Indianapolis.

And apparently Sam Ehlinger -- last seen fleeing the New England Patriots pass rush like a cartoon burglar -- did NOT inherit Tom Brady's sixth-round mojo.

Instead, he looked like what he is Sunday out there in Foxborough, and you were moved to pity for him. Bill Belichick vs. a callow young quarterback starting just his second NFL game was always going to be a gruesome mismatch, especially when the callow young quarterback was lining up behind the Seven Blocks of Grated Parmesan. And thus ...

And thus, a 26-3 loss in which the Indianapolis Colts squeezed out just eight first downs, went 0-for-14 on third down and 0-for-2 on fourth down, and huffed and puffed their way to a meager 121 yards of offense.

And thus, a 45.3 quarterback rating for poor Ehlinger, who was sacked nine times for both his own failings and those of his grossly overpriced offensive line.

Nine sacks. Reached in the hereafter, even the Visigoths were awed.

"Day-um!" they said.

And, OK, enough jokes, because this ceased to be funny awhile ago. It's never funny when an NFL team fires its head coach, and that sure looks like where we're headed in Indianapolis.

Frank Reich must surely sense this, because no one ever looked or sounded more like a dead man walking in the postgame. 

"I have to do a better job," he kept saying.

Also, "I need to do a better job getting guys ready to play."

Also, "(It) starts with me."

And ends, perhaps, sooner rather than later. Hard to say. This season has followed its own bizarre path so far, and at this point there's no reason to think it won't continue to do so.

All I know is I'm thinking of the Turk this morning, because that's what players back in the day used to call the underling who delivered bad news in training camp. You'd hear a knock on your door and there would be the Turk, delivering this chilling message: "Coach wants to see you and bring your playbook."

Which meant you'd been cut.

Frank Reich?

I don't know when the Turk cometh for him. But if you listen close, you might hear footsteps coming down the hall.

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