And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the We (Heart) New York Blob feature of which critics have said "Does this mean we get to fold a slice and visit the Statue of Liberty?", and also, "Please tell me this doesn't mean an entire post about the cruddy Giants and Jets!":
1. "Yes! An entire post about the cruddy Giants and Jets!" (The Management)
2. "Hey, we're not cruddy! We're heartbreaking and soul-crushing! Get it right!" (The Giants and Jets)
3. "We lost to the Patriots for the 14th straight time on an 84-yard punt return with five seconds left!' (The Jets)
4. "We lost to the Lions! At home!" (The Giants)
5. "Our offense was so putrid we only made six first downs and gained 103 yards! For a whole game!" (The Jets)
6. "Our star running back, Saquon Barkley, only ran for 22 yards on 15 carries! Against the Lions!" (The Giants)
7. "Our quarterback, Zach Wilson, was 9-of-22 for 77 yards! And then said he didn't feel like he let down the Jets defense!" (The Jets)
8. "We lost to Jared Goff!" (The Giants)
9. "We lost to Mac Jones!" (The Jets)
10. "We were 8-1 and the Cowboys beat us 40-3! It was so bad the network dumped the game in the THIRD QUARTER!" (The Vikings, in a guest appearance)
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