Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Thanks, and stuff

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, aka Turkeycide Day, aka When Do We Eat Day. So I guess this is the part where the Blob gives thanks for various and sundry blessings, like pie and deliciously beheaded turkeys and pie, and also pie.

This being mostly a Sportsball Blob (except when it's not), let us commence with the (mostly) Sportsball Stuff For Which We Are Thankful:

* We are thankful for Indianapolis Colts head coach Jeff Saturday, because without him we might never have realized playing armchair quarterback every Sunday could actually lead to a lucrative turn as an NFL head coach. Or at the very least an offensive coordinator.

* Which is why we're also thankful for Patriots OC Matt Patricia, because, my God, if THAT guy can be an offensive coordinator ...

* We are thankful for Kyrie Irving, because without Krazy Kyrie we never would have known the earth was flat, or about the Secret Jewish Cabal That Rules The World, or about the evil Dr. Fauci and his plot to kill all of us with the Covid vaccine -- which is why Kyrie ain't gettin' that shot, uh-uh, no way.

* We are thankful for the New York Jets, because, in a world gone mad, we can still count on them to lose to the Patriots every year, all the time.

* We are thankful for FIFA, because, in a world gone mad, we can still count on international soccer's ruling body to be corrupt and tone-deaf every four years, all the time.

* We are also thankful for, among others, the German starting side, who all pointedly put their hands over their mouths during introductions today because FIFA has threatened any World Cup player with a yellow card if he shows up wearing a rainbow One Love armband -- which promotes diversity and, you know, love, two concepts that apparently deeply offend the host Qatari government.

* We are thankful, finally, for all the MAGA election-fraud hucksters, and “cancel culture” "victims," and Critical Race Theory/pronoun/fetanyl-is-in-my-kid's-Halloween-candy hysterics. And all other inhabitants of rubber-room rabbit holes. 

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You've provided us a valuable baseline for crazy, and for that we are grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving, Blobophiles!

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