Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Gettin' vaxxy

 Sometimes I actually agree with Colin Cowherd, pre-eminent FoxSports fluff brain. It happens about as often as it hits 116 in Portland, Ore.

Which, coincidentally happened on Monday, prompting this reaction from climate change Flat Earthers: "Well, these things will happen." Across the ideological aisle, meanwhile, the reaction was this: "OMIGOD THE EARTH IS GOING TO TURN INTO A CINDER ON THE FOURTH OF JULY."

In any event, Portland hitting 116 and Cowherd and I agreeing on something happened the same day, which suggests a certain cosmic balance of the rare. What we agreed on was that women are smarter than men, and as proof Cowherd noted that of all the major professional sports leagues, the WNBA by far leads the way in the number of athletes who've been vaccinated against the Bastard Plague.

Ninety-nine percent of WNBA players have gotten their shots. That means all 12 teams are now considered fully vaccinated.

Meanwhile, the dopey men are still dragging ass on the vaccination front, some of them for the usual dopey anti-vaxxers reasons. Cole Beasley of the Buffalo Bills, for instance, recently said he didn't need to get vaccinated because he trusted in God to protect him, and didn't understand why more people didn't just trust in God.

Which immediately produced this thought bubble over the Almighty's head: "WHY DO YOU THINK I GAVE SCIENTISTS THE WISDOM TO COME UP WITH A VACCINE, YOU MORON?"

Look. I get it. There are crazy people everywhere in America, because in America you're allowed to be as crazy as you want, even if you're a certain ex-president or a congress critter with the initials "Marjorie Taylor Greene." And so President Biden's goal to get everyone vaccinated is likely doomed. There are simply too many crazies out there who believe the vaccine causes autism or athlete's foot or is Antifa's secret plan to control our minds and make us learn socialism (spelled, "Socialism! Aiee!") and Critical Race Theory.

Many of these crazies are men, and some are athletes of the man persuasion. And so even though the numbers tell us virtually everyone still winding up in the hospital with the Bastard Plague are the unvaccinated, there will still be a fair number of Cole Beasleys in the Man Sports.

Not in the WNBA, though. In the WNBA, the women figured it out a long time ago: The quicker you get the stupid shot, the quicker we'll put the Bastard Plague down for good. And the quicker we'll all get the freedom the anti-vaxxers are always caterwauling about -- and which certain lawmakers have fed into by passing laws prohibiting businesses from keeping diseased people out of their establishments.

Listen to the women of the WNBA, people. Get the shot.

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