Saturday, May 29, 2021

Fan-dumb

 It's an iffy undertaking, determining the gestation period of nostalgia. Just how Back In The Day does Back In The Day have to be before gooey longing for it is legit?

In other words: Is it too soon to miss the Bubble Days of Bastard Plague Sportsball World?

Because, listen, the fans are back, and that's a good thing. But also, the fans are back, and they're just as hideous as ever.

And that's a bad thing.

Come with us now to Madison Square Garden the other night, where some jamoke spit on Trae Young of the Atlanta Hawks. And come to Philadelphia, ground zero for idiot fan behavior, where some cheesesteak-head dumped popcorn on Russell Westbrook of the Washington Wizards as he limped off injured. And come out to Salt Lake City, where three sheet-and-hood Jethros shouted racial slurs at the family of Memphis Grizzlies guard Ja Morant.

Hey, look! Over here! Is that a couple of drunk women brawling in the cheap seats at a White Sox game?

Why, yes, it is. Isn't it great, having the fans back again?

Now, before you start in, let me offer the standard disclaimer: Most fans are not brain-cell deficient drunks, louts and racist turds. And no one seriously denies having them back restores Sportsball World's soul. Without them, it's all just a bunch of overgrown boys and girls playing catch in the backyard,

But, damn, don't those overgrown boys and girls bring out the stupid in the human species.

Part of it's entitlement, of course, because tickets, parking and concessions leave you as arm-and-leg-less these days as the Black Knight from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." And, gee, the players make all that money for throwing a ball through a hoop or across homeplate or to Gronk down the middle. And so why can't Joe Fan spit on them and say vile things?

I'm sure the sheet-and-hood Jethros out in Utah were thinking that when they shouted this at Ja Morant's dad, who is black: "I'll put a nickel in your back and watch you dance, boy."

Nice. And it's not just a Utah thing, of course.

Kyrie Irving took some heat the other day for making a passing reference to Boston as a bastion for sheet-and-hood jamoke-ery, but he wasn't wrong. Boston's rep as one of the nation's most racist cities goes back decades and is well-earned;  Bill Russell was the first to call out the city for it half-a-century ago, and Boston made national news in the '70s when white folks from Southie rioted over desegregation of the school system.

That didn't even happen in Mississippi when they desegregated the schools. So there's that.

As for what happened in Utah and New York and Philadelphia ... well, here's some truth for ya: The price of admission, no matter how exorbitant, entitles you to nothing. It entitles you to sit your ass down, cheer for your guys and boo the refs.

That's it. That's all.

The good news is, the various organizations understand that, and acted swiftly and accordingly. The Knicks banned the guy who spit on Trae Young from the Garden "indefinitely." Utah fans around the Morants lit into the Jethros when they started vomiting their spew, and Jazz coach Quin Snyder and his star player, Donovan Mitchell, were furious.

Snyder called for a lifetime ban for the Jethros. Mitchell said "there's no place for that in life, not even just in the game of basketball."

As for the 76ers ...

Well. They banned from Wells Fargo Arena the guy who dumped popcorn on Westbrook -- who had to be restrained by security from going after him.

The Blob's take on that: Too bad security did its job so well. Too bad.

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