And now the triumphant return of The NFL In So Many Words, the execrable, made-for-2020 Blob feature of which critics have said "Good lord, this is execrable!" ... and also "I thought the Bastard Plague killed this!" ... and also "My God, 2020, what's next? Thumbscrews?":
1. Forty-three. Four. Unknown.
2. Tom Brady's age. Number of kicks Stephen Gostkowski floofed before finally kicking the game-winner for the Titans. Number of times Bill Belichick secretly smiled.
3. "What?! He DROPPED that?!" (Lions fan)
4. "Well, OF COURSE HE DID!" (Lions fan, upon further reflection)
5. Yay! We got Philip Rivers!" (Colts fan)
6. "Wait ... I thought we were getting a different Philip Rivers!" (Colts fan, three hours later)
7. "You still suck, Trubisky!" (Bears fan, before the fourth quarter)
8. "I'M NAMING MY FIRSTBORN AFTER YOU, TRUBISKY!" (Bears fan, after the fourth quarter)
9. "What?! He DROPPED that?!" (Also Bears fan)
10. "What?! He CAUGHT 14 balls?!" (Texan fan, watching DeAndre Hopkins play for the Cardinals)
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