Your horse sense for today

Today is Kentucky Derby Day, out of order and at the wrong end of summer, but still Kentucky Derby Day. And loyal Blobophiles  ("'Loyal'," you're saying. "Get him") know what that means.

It means once again it's time for the Blob to tell you who to lay your two bucks on, being a Horse Guy who's up on all things Derbyish, like what breezing is and how to know when your horse's withers ain't witherin' properly as he walks the shedrow.

The big news today is the Derby will be run in front of ghosts and echoes, on account of no spectators will be allowed to avoid the Bastard Plague and various catastrophic structural hat failures. And no mint juleps, unless you make the vile things at home.

If not, a good slug of Robitussin will suffice.

But on to the analysis!

1. Tiz the Law is the overwhelming favorite.

This means you should probably bet him if you want to win, but betting the overwhelming favorite is weak and cowardly and betrays a lack of imagination that makes you no fun at parties. So go ahead and bet him, but don't expect the Blob to hang with you.

2. Mr. Big News is not big news.

That's because he stands 40-1 in the latest line, which means a lot of Horse Guys think he's Alpo. But he's a brown horse and kinda handsome and his trainer is W. Bret Calhoun, which sounds very trainer-ish in a stuffy cigars-and-cognac-in-the-boardroom way.

I'd drop a bundle on him.

3. Your annual gray horse alert.

Gray horses are frequently bow-wows in the Horse Guy's completely uninformed opinion, And so, as a public service, here is your Gray Horse Alert for today: Beware Ny Traffic.

That's because he's, well, gray, and he was born in New York, and his trainer is named Saffie A. Joseph Jr., which doesn't sound very trainer-ish. He's also 32 years old and has hair-band hair and hails from Barbados, and is regarded as quite the up-and-comer.

So I suppose it would be a great story if Saffie A. Joseph Jr.'s horse won. That's because of Saffie, of course, but also Ny Traffic's jockey, Paco Lopez, a 34-year-old Mexican-born American who's won a whole pile of stuff but has never been up on a Derby winner.

This almost makes the Horse Guy reconsider the whole gray horse thing. But, nah.

4. And the winner is ...

A horse.

Ha! Got ya!

No, I'll go with another brown horse, Money Moves, a 14-1 shot. This is because he looks really fast in his picture and his trainer, Todd Pletcher, is a guy I've heard of.

I've also heard he walks the shedrow like a champ.

So there ya go. Lay down those simoleons.