Thursday, July 18, 2019

Today in asshat-ery

After three years of the Pampers Presidency, we should be used to grownups behaving like spoiled children. And then along comes a certain Chicago Cubs fan, who belies the accepted narrative that Cubs fans are all fun-loving souls who just want to come drink beer and hang out in their favorite summer resort, Wrigley Field.

Rather than, you know, steal from little kids like an enormous douche.

Courtesy of Deadspin, here is that certain Cubs fan, who goes by the name Mai Tai Guy, swooping in to snatch away Kyle Schwarber's walkoff home run from two small boys leaning over to get it. And then he wasn't even sorry about it, the asshat.

Just listen to him. Doesn't he sound exactly like the sort of bleephead who rounded off his night by going home and kicking a puppy around his crappy Hey Look I'm A Big Boy Now I Got Muh Own Place apartment?

Or perhaps his parents' basement.

The most disgusting part of this, and the most disheartening, is not Mai Tai Guy didn't see anything wrong with taking advantage of kids -- although, truthfully, it was like a grown man taking a 6-year-old to the tin in the driveway and then acting like he'd just posterized MJ. No, the worst part is, if you read the Deadspin post, there were actually a couple of staffers there who defended Mai Tai Guy.

Which only goes to show you that chivalry and accepted norms of behavior are apparently dead in America. Also that there are a lot of asshats out there these days.

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