Writin' somethin' that rhymes

Happy Valentine's Day, Blobophiles, a day in which we celebrate the greeting card and chocolate industries, and upon which young men's fancies turn to one of two thoughts:

1. "Good thing I bought some greeting cards and chocolates."

2. "Crap! I forgot to buy some greeting cards and chocolates."

In which case, young men's fancies turn desperately to poetry -- or, to use the more accurate if colloquial term, "poimes."

In keeping with this, the Blob has decided to revive last year's Valentine post, in which it, too, rolled out a few poimes suitable for particular circumstances. In so doing, it consciously violated the edict of crusty old newspaper publisher Ben Throckmorton, the character in Dan Jenkins' novel "Fast Copy" who famously instructed his reporters, "Don't write me nothin' that rhymes."

Anyway ... on with the poimes:

* That was some bargain John Elway landed the other day, signing Joe Flacco out of Baltimore at the very apex of the middle of the backside of his career. Apparently Case Keenum wasn't "meh" enough at quarterback; now ol' John's got himself the acknowledged King of Meh. Watch the Broncos take the AFC West by storm now!

Or, in other words ...

From out of the East
Strides the ultimate Joe.
Oh, wait, that was Namath
This guy s only Flacco.

* Spring has sprung down in Florida and Arizona, with pitchers and catchers reporting and all the sounds of baseball -- the crack of ash on horsehide; the pop of ball meeting leather -- driving hardened laptop jockeys to fits of gooey sentimentality. Meanwhile, two of the game's brightest stars, Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, remain unsigned, victims of either collusion (Bryce and Manny's agents) or a needed market adjustment (the owners). A sad tale, best told in verse ...

Surely you jest
When you laugh at our offer.
It's Bryce! It's Manny!
No, we won't kiss your fanny!

* Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, The Lake Show continues to be a you-know-what show. In the latest episode, the Lakers lost to the bedraggled Atlanta Hawks, and afterward the team's young core seemed pointedly unaffected by such a dreary development. Completely missing the playoffs now seems eminently possible, with the young players apparently supremely miffed at management/LeBron James for making it clear they were all just trade pieces for any Anthony Davis that comes down the track. LeBron especially has some fences to repair; maybe a poime will help ...

Guys, I wouldn't trade you
I'm not that kind of fellow.
I didn't really want Davi--
Ooh, look! It's Carmelo!

* America's favorite not-really-a-sports-event happened the other night, which did not mean it evaded sports-event-type controversy. We refer, of course, to the Westminster Dog Show, in which a fox terrier named King won Best in Show. The controversy? Best in Show judge Peter Green used to show fox terriers himself, which immediately invited charges of favoritism from, well, maybe a couple of people. And so perhaps Green could clear things up with a few choice lines ...

My judgment's not shady
there's no ifs, ands or buts
King was clearly far better
Than those other sad mutts.

* Last but not least, everyone is still talking about Duke's epic comeback, on the road, against Louisville the other night. Down 23 with less than 10 minutes to play, the Blue Devils rallied to win. It was the biggest comeback in Mike Krzyzewski's storied career, and we heard all about how it happened and what he said to his team right before the rally began. But how about a poime for the poor Cardinals?

Hey, we're up 23,
Look's like Duke's out of luck
Oh, wait ... Wait, no ...
Well, if THIS doesn't suck.