And now ... Da Prediction

Which, yes, is a few days early, because the Blob is taking a few days off to get out of God's icebox and desecrate the game of golf in a more gentle clime.

("Wait, you play golf?" you're saying).

(No, not really. I swing the clubs. I hit the balls. Everything that happens after that is stand-up comedy).

Anyway ... this means I have to do the requisite thing for this week, which is predict what will happen Sunday in the Big Roman Numeral. The short answer is, I have no idea what will happen Sunday in the Big Roman Numeral. Well, except that everyone will hate the halftime show because everyone always hates the halftime show, on account of no one ever thinks the NFL picks the right act.

Me, I've got nothing against Maroon 5; they seem like nice boys. Some people do, though. No, I don't know why that is, either.

As to the game, like much of America I'd really prefer not to pick either team. This is because one team is the New Bleeping England Bleeping Patriots, and the other team is the Los Angeles Rams, who are owned by Stan Bleeping Kroenke. Stan Bleeping Kroenke is a loathsome human being unworthy of being in the same room with the Lombardi Trophy, let alone putting his grubby mitts on it. Not only did he abandon St. Louis to take the Rams back to a proven loser of an NFL market, he felt it necessary to crap all over the city on his way out of town.

So, you know, screw him.

Still ... someone's got to win Sunday. And the Blob has resigned itself to the fact it's going to be the New Bleeping England Bleeping Patriots again.

I have no Xs and Os or charts and graphs or deep-dive analysis to explain this. I have only my gut, which tells me the Patriots will find some way to beat a team that, on paper, is better than they are.

I think their O-line will find some way to slow down Aaron Donald and the boys and keep them out of Tom Brady's face. (Although if they do get in his face, or come within a nautical mile of it, the zebras will throw a flag. Because, Tom Brady). I think they'll find some way to exploit whatever the Rams take away by doing something else. They're a chameleon that way.

Defensively, meanwhile, I think they'll also figure out a way to rattle Jared Goff. Bill Belichick, aka Darth Hoodie, loves young quarterbacks like Jared Goff. He's the best ever at getting inside their heads. And it's not like other teams occasionally haven't been able to do that to him this season.

So, yeah, it's going to be the Patriots. Partly for the aforementioned reasons, but mainly because we're all sick to death of them and the Patriots love nothing more than rubbing our noses in that. Witness their latest sneering little slogan, "Still Here." If that's not twin middle fingers extended to America,  what is?

Can't wait for them to do it again, figuratively, after they win. By, say, 31-28 or something.

Meanwhile, enjoy the Puppy Bowl. I'm off to hit golf balls sideways.