... all concern the mystery back injury to Dustin Johnson, the world's No. 1 golfer and an odds-on favorite to win the Masters until he apparently screwed up his back yesterday by apparently falling down a flight of stairs.
Questions abound. Among them:
1. Is this a more bizarre athlete injury than former St. Louis Cardinal Vince Coleman getting eaten by that infamous tarp roller?
2. Is it more bizarre than Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano (another baseball player) rupturing his spleen while shoveling snow?
3. Is it more bizarre than Padres pitcher Adam Eaton (ANOTHER baseball player!) stabbing himself while trying to open a DVD?
4. And what is it with baseball players, anyway?
5. Are they the most hapless people on earth, except when they're playing baseball?
6. And could Dustin Johnson, who also once tweaked his back lifting a jet ski, have chosen the wrong sport?
7. I mean, he sounds like a baseball player to me.