And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature of which eggnog-besotted critics have exclaimed "It's a Christmas miracle!" and "Dang, that boy can write!":
1. The mummified husk of Sammy Baugh.
2. Will soon be quarterbacking the Colts if the season doesn't hurry up and end.
3. The almost mummified husk of Peyton Manning.
4. Who, despite his various owies, is still capable of hiring lawyers. Which means Al Jazeera is going to feel the burn.
5. Carson Palmer, Cam Newton, Tom Brady, Russell Wilson.
6. Are not yet in traction, under sedation, on IR, or being held together with Scotch tape and strategically placed ten-penny nails.
7. Speaking of Christmas miracles.
8. Aaron Rodgers.
9. Is not hurt either.
10. But, after Sunday, probably wishes he were.