And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature around which conservative pundits have manufactured an issue by saying it's "not Christmas-y enough" and "Where are the snowflakes and reindeer? You can't celebrate the Savior's birth without snowflakes and reindeer":
1. Brock Osweiler. Peyton Manning.
2. The greatest quarterback since Peyton Manning, and ... who?
3. Rob Gronkowski, Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, Julian Edelman, a bunch of other guys. Randy Vataha.
4. The professional football wing of Massachusetts General Hospital, and a guy who isn't hurt but who's three days shy of 67 and last played for the Patriots in 1976.
5. Tom Brady.
6. Who would take Randy Vataha right now anyway.
7. Hey, look, it's Tony Romo! And he's leading the Cowboys to the Supe--
8. Oops. Guess not.
9. Hey, look, it's Chip Kelly! And he's found the team he los--
10. Oops. Guess not.