And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature recommended by nine out of 10 pediatricians, 7 out of 10 podiatrists and one guy in Des Moines who "thought you were talking about toenail fungus":
1 It's Tuesday morning and woman-beating Cowboys pass rusher Greg Hardy is still a punk.
2. It's Tuesday morning and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett are still saying, oh, come on, he's not really that much of a punk, even though Hardy physically assaulted the Cowboys special teams coach Sunday by slapping the clipboard out of his hands.
3. It's Tuesday morning and the special teams coach is probably thinking "What the hell, man?"
4. And also, "Jerry Jones and Jason Garrett are punks, too."
5. Meanwhile, in Seattle, Jimmy Graham is open.
6. I said, "JIMMY GRAHAM IS OPEN!"
7. (To which Russell Wilson replies: "I'm sorry, what?")
8. The Jets!
9. Almost beat the Patriots!
10. That counts, right?