And now this week's installment of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature whose side effects may include nausea, vomiting, high blood pressure, increased irritability and minor scrapes and owies:
1. The Bengals!
2. Are outer space aliens who've absorbed the life force of the real Bengals, like in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."
3. Especially "Andy Dalton."
4. Like that guy's real.
5. Speaking of not real, who's this Jay Cutler guy?
6. Geez, the Lions.
7. The Cowboys! America's Team! Symbol of garish excess and everything else that's right and good!
8. They'll show those Patriots a thing or tw--
9. Never mind.
And last but not least ...
10. Geez. The Lions.