What I saw

(In which the Blob issues its standard disclaimer when it's about to stray from Strictly Sportsball Stuff: If you don't want to indulge my more self-indulgent impulses, you may leave the room and go down to the library. Make sure you have your hall pass, or crabby Mrs. Fernwinkle will turn loose her attack dogs, Marty and Beauregard.)

Went down to the local "Hands-Off!" rally the other day, and boy were Elon and the MAGA patriots right. Why, it was wall-to-wall mayhem, violence and plain old liberal/commie/socialist terrorism.

Senior citizens, veterans and other vicious thugs waved signs in a threatening manner. Harassed passing motorists into honking their horns in a nearly constant chorus. The heartless mob then cheered to celebrate the fruits of their bullying.

And the signs! Horrible, subversive things about Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid, and vile attacks on brave Elon and our brave President Trump. One guy was parading around with an upside-down American flag, which is just out-and-out treason unless it's carried by one of the January 6 heroes. Another woman had a sign that actually called our wonderful senator, Jim Banks, a clown!

Why, I never.

You could tell George Soros was behind all this, like X said, because there's no way so many people are this angry about Elon and the president cutting child cancer research and aid to the sick and poor around the world, and gumming up the Social Security works by firing hundreds of its employees. Probably 1,500 or so America haters showed up on a raw, windy day at the local rally, which undoubtedly means they were actors paid by Soros to be there. 

They had to be, because everyone there looked suspiciously well-fed -- even the retired South Bend firefighter, the retired park service worker who complimented me on my Olympic National Park cap, and the young woman holding the sign that read, "My grandather didn't flee a Russian dictator only for his grandchildren to suffer a Russian puppet!"

Scary people, I'm tellin' you.

The whole shameful deal was organized by the local chapter of an organization called Indivisible, which is nothing but a Soros-financed front. I know this for a fact because I read it on the internet, and also because there were rallies like this all over the country that day. Millions of people turned out, their pockets no doubt bulging with Soros cash. Such nationwide coordination simply could not have happened without it, according to the internet, and it was deeply, outrageously un-American.

Anyway, that's what I saw at the "Hands Off!" rally. Frankly I felt lucky to get out of there alive.

P.S. I have not yet received my check from George Soros, but I'm sure it's in the mail. It must be. Elon, the president and the internet wouldn't just make stuff up, would they?