They say you'll never go broke betting on the National Hockey League to do the wrong thing, the dumb thing, the what-the-hell-were-you-thinkin' thing. But they also say every dog has its day, so give Gary Bettman 'n' them a hand for once.
They figured out the All-Star thing.
Which is to say, they killed it dead and buried it in an unmarked grave.
What the NHL did, see, was replace the usual Farce Capades All-Star weekend -- a skills competition followed by a riveting 19-14 "game" -- with an actual by-god international mini-tournament. It's called the 4 Nations Faceoff, and it features Team USA, Team Canada, Team Finland and Team Sweden. Buncha NHL guys playin' for their national flags, in other words.
Canada beat the Swedes in overtime the other night, and the U.S. flushed the Finns 6-1 on Thursday. Today they play each other in a rivalry game which might or might not be a tad spicier than usual, on account of our brilliant new administration decided to start kicking our neighbors to the north around for no discernible reason.
Canadians have been booing our national anthem at hockey and basketball games since. Just desserts, you might say.
At any rate, the 4 Nations Faceoff is a landmark moment in Sportsball World, because it might be the first time in recorded history the NHL had a bright idea and the NBA and NFL didn't. The latter two should have knifed their All-Star weekends by now, too, but so far haven't figured out how to do it.
That's why the NFL's All-Star weekend has devolved into Field Day at Millard Fillmore Elementary School. And as for the NBA's All-Star extravaganza ...
Well. It's happening this weekend out in the Bay Area, and it's, I don't know, Shirts-Vs.-Skins, Make-It-Take-It In The Park or something.
It began Thursday with a celebrity game featuring "celebrities" old white guys like me had never heard of. Tonight 's highlights are the 3-point and increasingly irrelevant slamdunk contests; last night was the Rising Stars game, which wasn't really a game but a mini-tourney of three mini-games -- first two to 40, the last to 25 -- among three teams of first- and second-year players and a fourth team comprised of G-Leaguers.
Team C won, and will now advance to play Shaq's OG team in the All-Star game tomorrow. Which, again, isn't actually a game but three mini-games to 40/25 because last year's All-Star "game" was such an utter joke.
I think the final score was 932-912. Something like that.
No word yet on whether Sunday's exhibition will be shirts-vs.-skins or make-it-take-it. Though it would be cooler if it were.
Bottom line, both the NBA and NFL are still floundering around trying to breathe life into a concept that's been demonstrably cold on the slab for awhile now. The NHL, by contrast, recognized that and went in a totally different direction.
So give 'em the W. On ice.
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