Freon Deion

 They grow 'em thin-skinned out there in the mountain West, or so one could conclude from what happened in Boulder, Colo., the other day. What happened was, the University of Colorado got all huffy because a lowly newspaper grunt wrote insufficiently fawning stuff about its football coach, Deion Sanders.

The lowly grunt's name is Sean Keeler, who's a sports columnist for the Denver Post. This means he has opinions about things, and writes them for everyone to read. Occasionally those opinions make people mad, as opinions tend to do.

I know this because for 25 of the 38 years I was a newspaper grunt myself, I was a sports columnist. Every so often I wrote opinions people didn't like. Once I wrote something  uncomplimentary about Notre Dame's football team, and I got a note from a Fighting Irish fan that told me in fairly graphic terms what I could with my opinion.

It was, I have to say, a proud moment. In fact I hung up the note in my cubicle at work so every morning I could be reminded of what some anonymous Domer thought of my parentage.

But enough about me.

("Finally!" you're saying)

Anyway, back to Sean Keeler,  who wrote some similarly uncomplimentary stuff about Deion Sanders. According to the Post, Deion and the athletic department were particularly wounded by his references to Sanders as "Deposition Deion," a "false prophet" and the "Bruce Lee of B.S." (OK, so that one's pretty lame). They also didn't like his use of words such as "Planet Prime" and "circus."

Therefore, the Colorado athletic department has hereby banned Keeler from asking questions at Colorado football functions. He can still come to the games, but he has to keep his mouth shut. Coach Prime ain't down with not being hero worshipped, it seems.

(And, yes, the official press release actually referred to Sanders as "Coach Prime." Which makes you wonder if Keeler wasn't square on the button when he called Colorado "Planet Prime.")

In any case, Neon Deion had already become Freon Deion where Keeler was concerned, freezing him out at a recent news conference when Keeler asked if he could ask a football question. Several times he asked if he could, and Sanders ignored him. Then he moved on to another reporter, who wanted to know how Sanders was going to celebrate his birthday.

Finally, his kind of question!

He also responded to a reporter who asked how important it was for someone to have Aflac in their life, Sanders being a paid Aflac mouthpiece. Presumably, Prime told him it was very important.

And here is where I wonder if Keeler wasn't also on the button with his use of the word "circus" to describe Sanders program.

I mean, if the school itself is referring to its football coach by some quasi-superhero nickname, and if reporters are asking questions you'd ask not of a football coach but some famous-for-being-famous celebrity, it's fair to ask when the big top is going up. It's fair to ask --

Oh, look. Here's a letter from the Colorado athletic department.

Dear Mr. Smith:

Read your so-called blog in which you referred to our Coach Prime as "Freon Deion." This is extremely flippant and extremely disrespectful of a man who coached our Buffaloes to a fine 4-8 record last season. Therefore, you are hereby banned indefinitely from asking Coach Prime questions at any Colorado football function.

(Unless you ask him about Aflac. That is one damn fine company.)