And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the numbingly formulaic Blob feature of which critics have said "It's a touchdown!" and the replay booth has said "No, it's not!":
1. It's a touchdown, New York Jets! (In every known universe except Alpha Replayus Examinus Every Playus At The Cellular Levelus).
2. Sorry, New York Jets, it's not! (In the aforementioned universe)
3. Can we have a replay of the replay booth? (Pretty much everyone in America who is not a New England Patriots fan)
4. Meanwhile, the Titans!
5. Kept us from saying "The Colts!" for the first time in a dozen meetings!
6. In other history news, the Bears!
7. Won a road game?
8. Sorry. Wrong punctuation. Won a road game!
9. Sad news of the week (in Green Bay): The Vikings broke Aaron Rodgers.
10. Sadder news of the week (everywhere football is cherished): The Browns are still Brownsing.
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