And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature much lauded by people who say, "Oh, wait. I thought you said much-larded":
1. It's Tuesday morning and Alex Smith, That Guy Who Isn't That Good, is 5-0 with 11 touchdowns, no interceptions and a 125.8 QBR.
2. Meanwhile, Mitch Trubisky!
3. Upooted the Sears Tower with his bare hands last night and hurled it like a javelin into Wisconsin!
4. OK, so he didn't.
5. But he was kinda good.
6. For a guy who completed less than half his passes and lost.
7. In other news, Adam Vinatieri revealed that he is "not actually 44" but "I tell people that so they'll say 'Hey, look, 44-year-old Adam Vinatieri just kicked a 51-yard game-winning field goal!'"
8. Odell Beckham, ouch. J.J. Watt, ouch squared.
9. Don't look now, but here come the Browns!
10. No, really. Don't look.
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