And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the unremittingly tiresome Blob feature of which people (this week) are saying "Hey, no fair! You can't do this on Wednesday!" and "What a cruel joke, making us think you were skipping it this week!":
1. Sorry, Tennessee, you will not be getting your Titans back today. We're still waiting on parts. (Signed) Andy Jackson's By The Eternal Service And Repair.
2. Who is this Jay Cutler fellow who plays for the Porpoises? Heavens, isn't he the dour one. And is that how an NFL offense is supposed to look? (Signed) Jolly Old England.
3. I don't care what you say. Alex Smith still blows. (Signed) The Society of People Who Care Too Much That Alex Smith Isn't Throwing 60-Yard Bombs, And Not Enough That He's 4-0.
4. Hey, look! We're leading! (Signed) The Tru Blu Colts Crew (halftime)
5. Uuhhh ... (Signed) The Tru Blu Colts Crew (postgame).
6. Man, do we stink. (Signed) The Bear Down Chicago Bears Fan Club, before learning Mike Glennon had been benched for Mitch Trubisky.
7. Woo-hoo! We're going to the Super Bowl! (Signed) The Bear Down Chicago Bears Fan Club, after it was announced Glennon had been benched for Trubisky.
8. Man, do we stink. (Signed) The J-E-T-S Jets-Jets-Jets Fan, before the Jets beat the Jaguars in overtime.
9. Woo-hoo! We're going to the Super Bowl! (Signed) The J-E-T-S Jets-Jets-Jets Fan, after the Jets beat the Jaguars in overtime.
10. Sorry, Tennessee. Looks like a total rebuild of the Stopping Deshaun Watson micro-defensive fuel cell. (Signed) Andy Jackson's By The Eternal Service And Repair.
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