And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words -- the turning-over-a-new-leaf Blob feature which throws out the old and welcomes in the new, and of which critics have said "Throwing out! What a great idea!", and also, "You wanna see throwing out? Come up to the 52nd floor and I'll throw you outta this window!":
1. "No Chiefs? Woo-hoo, it's finally out with the old and in with OUR YEAR!" (Bills fans)
2. "Twelve points? Whatta you mean we only scored 12 points?" (Also Bills fans, after the Eagles marched into Buffalo and beat Josh Allen 'n' them 13-12)
3. Meanwhile, the Colts!
4. Lost their sixth straight game and seventh in the last eight as Philip Rivers remembered he was 44 years old. Eliminated from the playoffs after starting 8-2, leading the division and seemingly turning over a new leaf after years of late-season collapse and failure.
5. "Geez, it only seems like yesterday that we were 8-2, leading the division and were seemingly turning over a new leaf after years of late-season collapse and failure." (The Colts).
6. "Geez, same old Colts." (Colts fans, sighing, shaking their heads and shucking off their game-worn Mike Vanderjagt jerseys)
7. In other news, the Giants crushed the Raiders in Vegas to (seemingly) lock up the No. 1 pick in the draft for the home team; the Patriots crushed the Jets in New York to lock up the AFC East title; the Seahawks crushed the Panthers in Charlotte; and -- wait, what's this? The Browns beat the Steelers in Cleveland, 13-6?
8. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, Rodgers! Also Big Ben, and Mason Rudolph, and, I don't know, the 2,000 or so other Steelers who've beaten us like a throw rug for entire eons!" (Browns fans)
9. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, America!" (The Patriots)
10. "Ha! We won! Suck on that, NFL Draft!" (The Giants)
No comments:
Post a Comment