Welcome to Funville

 The big news out of pro football this morning comes to us for Pittsburgh, where the yinzers are no doubt a sixer of Iron City deep already at the very thought of the Big News.

To paraphrase Neil Armstrong: "Tranquility Base here. A-Aron has landed."

A-Aron, of course, being Aaron Rodgers, washed 41-year-old quarterback, who signed a one-year deal with the Steelers yesterday after weeks of playing his usual A-Aron mind games. Well, if you're not gonna sign me, I'll just retire. OK, maybe I won't. OK, maybe I will. OK, maybe ...

You get the idea.

Anyway, A-Aron has finally decided to play at least one more year, and, listen, Steelers fans haven't been this stoked about a quarterback since Dick Shiner. OK, so I'm being a smartass. They actually haven't been this stoked about a quarterback since Kent Nix.

OK, I'll stop now.

But the truth is, the yinzers are likely way divided about bringing A-Aron and all his weirdness and drama into the hallowed Steeler pantheon. If they can squeeze one more quasi-vintage Aaron Rodgers season out of the husk of his carcass, the Steelers could actually have an offense. And surely even a 41-year-old Rodgers will be an upgrade over Kenny Pickett or Mason Rudolph, right?

Plus, in April the Steelers drafted Will Howard, last seen leading Ohio State to the national championship. Just think what a great mentor A-Aron will be for the promising young lad!

(Brief pause to let the laughter die down)

(Longer pause to let the laughter die down)

(Come on, you guys. Take a breath before you pass out.)

Now where was I?

Oh, yeah. Aaron Rodgers in Pittsburgh, home of six Super Bowl trophies. Welcome to Funville, folks.

A-Aron likely won't deliver a seventh Lombardi Trophy, but, come on, what happened to him with the Jets can't possibly happen again, can it? First he missed all of 2023 after being injured, like, four snaps into the season; then he played like a washed 40-year-old last year as the Jets went 5-12.

That's not gonna happen with the Steelers, though, right? Um, right?

Nah, no way, now that he's 41 and not 40, that he takes another step back. No way, if the Steelers hit a mid-season slump, that  A-Aron kicks up a fuss, griping about his receivers or his O-line or saying the team should hire fellow weirdo Elon Musk to come in and clear-cut the entire franchise. 

Nah. That would never happen, right?

Um, right?