Tuesday, November 9, 2021

A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 9

And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the astonishing Blob feature of which critics have said "Gosh! I'm so astonished!", and also "Astonished? More like FLABBERGASTED!":

1. "Well, I'm just FLABBERGASTED!" (America, after the Jaguars beat the Bills 9-6)

2. "Hey, no fair! You mean they've got a Josh Allen, too?" (Bills fans, after Jacksonville's Josh Allen, a defensive end, sacked Bills' quarterback Josh Allen, pressured him into an interception and recovered a fumble in the Jags' win)

3. What do you mean Matt Nagy almost beat us?" (Steelers fans, after Pittsburgh blew a 20-6 lead and needed a field goal with 26 seconds left to beat Nagy's Bears, 29-27)

4. "Oh, wait, it was Justin Fields who almost beat us. Well, that's very different." (Steeler fans, channeling Emily Litella, after Bears rookie QB Fields led the Bears back to the brink of victory with a stirring fourth-quarter drive)

5. "THE COWBOYS ARE THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL!" (Cowboys fans, before the Cowboys played like goofs in a 30-16 loss to the Broncos)

6. "Hey, no fair!" (Cowboys fans, after the Broncos laminated their Boys)

7. "Remember a couple of weeks ago, when we were a lock for the Super Bowl? Yeah, those were good times. Gooood times." (The Bengals, after getting their hindparts handed to them for the second straight week, this time by the hated Browns)

8. (Even though the Browns were without Odell Beckham Jr., whom they finally cut loose after weeks of Wide Receiver Theater from the disgruntled OBJ)

9. "Hey, no fair!" (OBJ, after the Browns' 41-16 win without him)

10. 'Neener-neener-neener!" (The Browns, right back at him)

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