Touching base

So now we're a week into the Bastard Plague Mini Baseball Season, and it's time to check in with my cruddy Pittsburgh Pirates to see just how delightful a start they've had.

("No, no, no! Not the Pirates thing again!" you're saying)

Yes, yes, yes. My Blob, my rules, remember?

Anyway ... we're a week into the Mini Baseball Season, and already my Pirates are living down to expectations. Today's standings reveal they're 2-7 and in last place in the entire National League, and already five games out of first in the NL Central.

Of course, there's always hope.

For instance, let's recap the first week of the Mini Season:

1. Half the Marlins showed red for the Plague three games in and now their season is suspended.

2. A bunch of the Cardinals showed red and now their season is on hold.

3. Thirty-three games have already been postponed because of positive tests, they're playing seven-inning doubleheaders to try to catch up, and MLB commissioner Rob Manfred has warned the players' union if it doesn't get a handle on protocol efforts, the season could be shut down.

The season could be shut down!

See. Told you there was hope.