So another St. Louis Cardinal has showed red for the Bastard Plague, and their weekend series with the Cubs has been scrubbed. This summons an interesting mathematics exercise, so pick up your Ticonderoga No. 2 pencils, children.
Problem: After Sunday, there will be 49 days left in this pandemic-truncated, fun-size baseball season. The Cardinals will still have 55 games left on their schedule. What does this mean?
A. The Cardinals must play six more games than there are days left in the season.
B. The Cardinals must play a game every day for the next 49 days, including six doubleheaders.
C. By the time the 49 days are over, the Cardinals pitching staff will be down to the clubhouse guy, two batboys and one lucky fan in Section 16, Row D, Seat 11.
D. Also the rotted corpse of Old Hoss Radbourn, who in 1884 started 75 games, winning 59, and took the mound on 25 of the last 50 days of the season. And who no doubt would say "55 games in 49 days? NO PROBLEM, you buncha nancy boys."
The correct answer?
"E," for "All of the above." Also "F," for "This is insane, why are they still trying to do this?"
Class dismissed.
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