Thursday, June 18, 2020

Horse senseless

The 152nd Belmont Stakes goes off late Saturday afternoon, and I for one am as pumped as a guy can be considering it's not the last leg of the Triple Crown, but the first, and not the longest of the three races, but the shortest.

This is because of the Bastard Plague, of course, and so permit me once again to sneer at its Bastard self from behind my stylish Vera Bradley-ish mask. Y'all done ruined everything so far this year, BP. And now you've gone and shortened the Belmont and slotted it out of order.

Every year until this one it was the grinding 1 1/2-mile finale that separated the magnificent beasts from the mutts, but not this year. This year, because it's the first of the Triple Crown races, it's been shortened to a paltry 1 1/8 miles.

Secretariat would have covered that in about 30 seconds.  And it would have beaten Sham by only, oh, 20 lengths instead of 31.

Because of that, and because of the disjointed nature of things this year, the Blob has not invested its usual amount of research, speaking of 30 seconds. It can only tell you that Tiz the Law is going off as the 6-5 favorite this morning, and his trainer, Barclay Tagg, has a name that fairly drips with tweed. Add a Roman numeral or three and he's the Duke of Earl.

Tiz the Law comes out of the same stable as Derby and Preakness winner Funny Cide, and I've seen Funny Cide in person, so there's that. Also, if Tiz the Law wins, he'd be only the fourth New York-bred horse to win the home leg of the Triple Crown since 1882. Fans of the Chester Arthur presidency take note.

Fans of mutts, on the other hand, will want to drop some coin on Jungle Runner, whose Thursday morning odds are 50-1. Jungle Runner's jockey, Reylu Gutierrez, has never run the Belmont before. But apparently Jungle Runner barely runs, either, so they should make a good match.

So who's got the best shot at winning, aside from Tiz the Law and Barclay "Duke" Tagg?

Well, Tap It To Win's the second favorite, and his trainer, Mark Casse, won the Belmont last year with Sir Winston. But the Blob, a noted history nerd, likes Max Player, even though he's a 15-1 shot in the morning line. That's because Max Player's trainer is Linda Rice, and if her horse wins she'd be the first woman trainer to win the Belmont.

Sign me up.

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