Bradymania

I know why you come to this Blob. You come here for wisdom and insight you can't get anywhere else.

("No, we come here for the same reason people slow down to look at car wrecks," you're saying.)

("No, we come here to see what completely idiotic thing you're writing now," you're also saying.)

Anyway ...

I know why you come to this Blob.

You come to this Blob -- right now, at 6:58 in the morning on March 4, 2020 -- to get all the latest dope about what's going on with Tom Brady.

Well, here's something: Apparently last week his people met with the Colts people.

(Brief pause for horrified screeching from Indianapolis.)

Of course, this means nothing, we're told. Brady's a free agent, and this is what free agents do. Their people meet with other people. The Blob only mentions it because it wanted to hear horrified screeching from Indianapolis.

In any case, Brady has said enough to make people think he's actively looking for a new home, although how seriously remains to be seen. This has led to Rampant Speculation by all the usual Rampant Speculators.

Oh, the things the Blob hears these days ...

I hear Brady has been seen in Nashville, in Miami, in Oakland, in Azerbaijan. On the same day.

I hear Jimmy Garappolo and Jacoby Brissette have been seen weeping over photos of themselves on the bench in New England and mumbling, "Please, God, not again."

I hear the 49ers are interested, the Chargers are interested, the Broncos are interested. I hear Arsenal, Man U and West Ham United are interested. I hear General Mills, General Motors and Dollar General are interested.

I hear Our Only Available Impeached President wants to make him the head of Homeland Security. What the heck, he'd be as qualified as anyone else in OOAIP's administration.

In any case, I've heard a lot. Which of course makes me think this, as Bradymania continues to consume America, or at least ESPN:

I think when the dust settles, he'll still be a New England Patriot.

Or, you know, an Azerbaijan Fightin' Azimuth. I hear they could win it all this year.