And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the over-the-counter Blob feature whose side effects may include dizziness, nausea, a tendency to lurch clumsily about and an overwhelming urge to flap one's hands and run in circles around one's living room while clucking like a chicken:
1. Daniel Jones!
2. Rescued a kitten from a tree, ended world hunger, joined forces with Greta Thunberg to give the United Nations a stern talking-to and saved the Giants from certain doom against the Buccaneers with the GREATEST DISPLAY OF HERIOCS IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE NFL!
3. Jacoby Brissette!
4. Completed eleventy-hundred passes in a row for the Colts, which NOT EVEN DANIEL JONES COULD DO!
5. Andrew Luck!
6. Said, "Gosh, look at Jacoby! I couldn't do that. Why, I bet DANIEL JONES COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT!"
7. Freddie Kitchens!
8. Said, "Yes, I know we have a first down on the 4-yard line. I know we have all three of our timeouts left. I know we have Nick Chubb. But I didn't feel like running the football, so NEENER-NEENER-NEENER!"
9. Sean Payton!
10. Said, "I'll use BOTH my backup quarterbacks to beat the Seahawks, because I am SEAN PAYTON and I don't need Drew Brees to win football games. Or even DANIEL JONES!"
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