Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Today in weirdo news

Look, we all know Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh is a couple of sandwiches shy of a picnic. I mean, come on, when he was a big-deal NFL coach, he wore $8 pants. He once ate cold cereal with Gatorade instead of milk. One time, he slept over at a recruit's house.

Comes now the latest evidence that the Prince of Ann Arbor is a certified weirdo, courtesy of Matt Hayes of the Bleacher Report. In his Michigan football preview, he includes an anecdote from former UM quarterback Wilton Speight, who says Harbaugh once pulled him aside and told him not to eat chicken.
 
"Why?" Speight asked.
 
"Because it's a nervous bird," Harbaugh replied, presumably from his home base on Mars.
 
He went on to expound upon his theory that eating chicken, especially the white meat, was making human beings sick, or some such thing. And that we'd all be better off if we just ate beef or pork.
 
Presumably Harbaugh was not aware that pork markets itself as "the other white meat."
 
Anyway ... there you have it. It should be noted that this anecdote, like a lot of anecdotes, may or may not have a whiff of urban legend to it. But let's be real here. It sure sounds like Harbaugh, doesn't it? 
 
Don't eat chicken, people, even though your doctor would probably tell you it's better for you than either beef or pork. Load up on cheeseburgers and pork chops instead. You'll be turning handsprings at 90, like Jack freaking LaLanne. 
 
Yeesh. God only knows what he thinks about fish.

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