Car talk

Details are now emerging about the Process, and no, not that other Process, although the team that popularized the term -- the Philadelphia 76ers -- did get in on the LeBron James Pitchathon, too.

No, this Process is subtitled How Magic Johnson Landed LeBron, and it includes this quirky tidbit: Apparently Magic arrived an hour early for his scheduled meeting with Bron, and waited in his car outside James' California home like ... oh, I don't know. A stalker, maybe?

Process server?

Benson and Stabler on a stakeout?

All sorts of fun analogies here, but the Blob, in its endless search for even more details,  wants to know exactly how Magic spent that hour waiting in his car.  Did he drink bad coffee and wonder why Munch and Fin didn't draw this gig? Watch old episodes of The Magic Hour (all eight weeks of them) on his phone? Marvel at how LeBron had just as cool a house as he had?

We take you now to the entirely imaginary transcript ...

Sometime on June 30. Inside a car parked outside LeBron James' California home.

MAGIC JOHNSON (taking a sip of coffee): Damn, this stuff is nasty! How do Benson and Stabler stand it?

(Rustling papers)

MAGIC (under his breath): Hey, LeBron ... Hey! LeBron! ... Beautiful home, you have here, LeBron ... Heeeeey! It's my man, the King!

(Brief pause)

Ooh. That's bad. That's reaaaally bad, Magic.

(More rustling papers)

MAGIC: OK, let's see here. LeBron, you and I are both champions, blah-blah ... know what it takes to build a winner, blah-blah ... young team, perfect mentor ... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Business interests. Bullshit, bullshit. Film industry, family, you could own this town ... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

 (Brief pause)

Hmmm. "Own this town." Maybe I need to add something there.

(Rustling papers)

"And never ... mind ... what Kobe says ... or any .. of the idiots ... who think he was better than you are."

(Brief pause)

MAGIC: Ah. Perfect. Now what time is it?

(Brief pause)

MAGIC: Damn. Still 55 minutes to go.