Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Paging Steve Austin

Because, you know, if you're gonna get into the "Six-Million Dollar Man" business, you ought to go straight to the source.

This may not be exactly what's going on at Purdue University this week, but it's close enough. With center/offensive linchpin Isaac Haas out with a broken right elbow, and the Boilermakers headed for a Sweet Sixteen showdown with Texas Tech, the effort to rebuild Haas is well underway.

Which is to say, according to the Lafayette Journal & Courier, the Purdue sports medicine program has reached out to a group of Purdue mechanical engineers to design a brace for Haas' elbow the NCAA will approve, and that would enable Haas to get back out on the floor.

Hey, when you have one of the top engineering schools in the country, you might as well put it to work for you in a worthwhile cause. And what could be more worthwhile in West Lafayette right now than helping the Boilers move on in the NCAA Tournament?

Sure, it's just basketball, but then again, it's not. There's an abundance of data out there that ties success in Da Tournament to increased university enrollment and applications. George Mason got a huge bump in interest from prospective students after its run to the Final Four in 2006. Ditto Florida Gulf Coast when it reached the Sweet Sixteen in 2013. Ditto Butler when it came within a bounce of the ball on the rim of winning the NCAA title in 2010.

So you see, hoops are good for the general economy of the university. And so have at it, you Purdue slide rule boys.

Of course, it's not likely anything they come up with will turn Isaac Haas into Lee Majors. A broken elbow on Haas' dominant arm means, brace or not, he'd be severely limited in such minor details as catching the ball, shooting the ball and (as Purdue coach Matt Painter specifically pointed out) shooting free throws. So it's extremely doubtful how much good he'd actually be to Purdue, and far more likely he'd actually be a deterrent.

On the other hand, it's not like he's a man barely alive.

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