Sunday, September 3, 2017

Hey, look! College football!

It's Labor Day weekend, and you know what that means. It means this is the weekend fall muscles summer's decrepit ass off center stage, rudely arriving three weeks early to hog the spotlight.

There are cooler mornings. There is swifter nightfall. And of course there is college football, the version of the game the NFL would be if it still had a soul.

And so yesterday you walked into any sports bar in America, and glories awaited. College football was on every screen wherever you looked, and it was a beautiful thing. Hey, look, Iowa's whuppin' the Wyoming Cowboys! Penn State's curb-stomping Akron! The Fighting Irish look like they're ready to fight again, and Purdue's giving ranked Louisville all it wants after Vegas picked the Cardinals to win by a thousand points!

Good stuff. And so, in the Blob tradition of avoiding in-depth analysis whenever possible, here are a few random thoughts from First Saturday:

1. That sure was a whole lotta yella Michigan dumped on Florida.

Which is to say, the Wolverines' all-yellow uniforms (OK, so Michigan insists on calling it "maize," but come on, it's yellow) made it look as if Florida were being attacked by a particularly savage jar of French's mustard. And attacked is the right word, because the Michigan defense utterly smothered the Gators, limiting them to one puny field goal.  Without two touchdowns by the Florida D, it's 33-3 and a complete blowout instead of a semi-blowout.

If this is what rebuilding looks like in Ann Arbor, everyone should want some.

2. Wait, was that Purdue?

It was, by golly.

Yes, the same bunch of lugs who slogged through a 3-9 season last year pushed ranked Louisville and its dazzling quarterback, Lamar Jackson, to the cliff's edge before going down 35-28. If this is any indication of what's to come in the Jeff Brohm era in West Lafayette, it looks like there's actually going to be a Jeff Brohm era worth talking about.

Think the Purdues got the hire right this time.

3. Oh, look. It's Alabama again.

In Saturday's marquee game, the No, 1 Crimson Tide methodically ground No. 3 Florida State to cornmeal the way they always grind everyone to cornmeal. Yawn. Nothing to see here, folks, same-old, same-old.

4. And now, your requisite Opening Weekend Hey, Notre Dame Looked Pretty Good Take.

Hey, Notre Dame looked pretty good. Especially the new quarterback, Brandon Wimbush. Temple's no slouch and they handled 'em easy.

5. And now, your requisite Opening Weekend Notre Dame Qualifier.

Of course, Temple's not Alabama, either.

And last but not least ...

6. The requisite Alma Mater Pride Observation.

In which the Blob observes that our Ball State Cardinals went on the road and gave a Big Ten school fits, losing 24-21 to Illinois when a last-second, 54-yard field goal try to tie it fell short.

Of course, it was only Illinois, which begs the question whether or not the Cards actually gave a Big Ten school fits.

(The requisite Alma Mater Qualifier)

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