Thursday, May 19, 2016

Time travel is a thing

I know this because I just read this, which proves that humans can, in fact, travel back to the days of yore ("Yore" meaning "a time when women bloody well knew their place"). And they can, in fact, remain for indefinite periods.

And so don't waste your time looking around in 2016 for the gentlemen who run Muirfield, the iconic Scottish golf club that just voted again to remain all-male because, well, they don't really care that it's 2016. In their minds, it's still 1950. It will always be 1950. Set the Wayback Machine and then destroy it, laddie.

That by doing so they just got ousted as a British Open site (the people who run the British Open apparently declining to remain stuck in the past with the gentlemen from Muirfield) means very little. The sensibilities of 2016 -- in which it's agreed that women should be treated as actual citizens who can vote and everything -- cannot touch you if you've fled 2016. Time really can stand still if your minds are right.

"A traditional resistance to change is one of the foundations of our unique position in golf and our reputation," reads a letter to Muirfield's members.

Most of us, here in 2016, would not tend to regard that as a point of pride. But no doubt the members, all cozy back there in 1950, had a different reaction.

"Quite!" you can almost hear them responding.

Followed by a discreet golf clap.

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