Wednesday, May 11, 2016

That toddlin' town

So Rational Brain and Crazy Go Home You're Drunk Brain are having an argument today, something that happens way more than the Blob would ever let on in public, or maybe even in private.

First Rational Brain says this: "No. No, no, no. It is waaay too early to talk about this. Hell, it's waaay too early to even think about this."

To which Crazy Go Home You're Drunk Brain says this: "No, it's not! It's never too early! I mean, have you seen what these guys are doing?"

And then, these dreaded words: "The Windy City World Series! It's comin', baby!"

Rational Brain just sighs.

I mean, he knows -- we all know -- you never, ever, ever count your chickens before they're hatched, especially in Chicago. And that's especially true if it's the Cubs we're talking about, who haven't won  the World Series since Roosevelt was in the White House.

That would be Teddy Roosevelt, not Franklin Delano.

And so it's utterly insane to be talking like this in May, five months and change away from the World Series. Too much can happen between now and then. A meteor could strike Wrigley Field in the middle of Jake-Arrieta-From-The-Planet-Ktron's next start. The White Sox could wake up and realize they're way too high off the ground. Joe Maddon could lose his glasses. The Royals could become the Royals again. Something.


Oh, sure. It's almost impossible not to think about October right now, considering the way things are going. The Cubs are 25-6, have an eight-and-a-half-game lead and have won eight in a row by mostly ridiculous margins. The White Sox are 23-11, have won seven of their last 10 and lead the AL Central by five games. Together, the Cubs and White Sox have the two best records in baseball. No one else is within 2 1/2 games of them.

"See!" says Crazy Go Home You're Drunk Brain. "They're invincible! It's gonna happen! The Windy City Series, just like in 1906! Tinker to Evers to Chance to Rizzo! Mordecai Three-Finger Arrieta! The past is the future!"

To which Rational Brain just rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, I got your future right here, pal," he says.

And then opens the door. Behind it stands a guy in a Kris Bryant jersey and a guy in a Chris Sale jersey. They do not look happy, because they know what usually happens when people talk the way Crazy Go Home You're Drunk Brain is talking. It's why their fists are clenched.

Rational Brain stands aside, gesturing towards his crazy drunken opposite number.

"Have at it, boys," he says.         

No comments:

Post a Comment