Sunday, March 8, 2015

Your culinary update for today

... which begins, just to jog memories, with something some dumb guy said back in November, when the world was young and Kentucky was not 31-0:

  Kentucky is not going to go undefeated. If I'm wrong, print this out, bring it back to me in April and I'll eat it. I won't even use salt and pepper.

True. The dumb guy, I have it on good authority, is planning on using a nice piquant marinara.

I also have it on good authority that the dumb guy is getting really, really nervous about this, because he has friends (most of them bleeding copious amounts of Wildcat blue) who know about this, and they can barely contain their glee at the prospect of the dumb guy dining on gerunds and prepositions. One of them has even offered to mix the dumb guy a special blue martini with which to wash it all down.

This at least makes the dumb guy a little less glum.

Otherwise ... well, it's been a ride through hell in a clown car, these past four months. The Wildcats have mostly dispatched everyone with ease -- their average margin of victory in 31 straight victories is 21.4 points, tops in the nation by three points -- but there have been enough close calls to make the dumb guy think they're just stringing him along.

For instance: The other night in Athens, Ga., the Kats trailed the Bulldogs by nine deep into the second half, only to eventually win by eight. What was that? I mean, if you're gonna go ahead and win by eight, why get behind by nine to begin with? Unless you're simply the kind of sick people who enjoy pulling the wings off flies?

Or, you know, off dumb guys.

At any rate, here we are. The dumb guy can now only hope the Kats, who have nothing whatsoever to play for in the SEC tournament, lose the third meeting with Georgia. Or get knocked off by, say, Arkansas or Florida or someone else trying to improve their NCAA Tournament lot.

"Ah, don't worry," someone said the other day, temptingly. "The SEC's really weak. Once Kentucky gets into the Sweet Sixteen, they'll run into some really good teams."

Thaaaat's right. Tease the dumb guy.

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