Sunday, February 1, 2015

Lay down your money

We're only six hours or so now from opening kickoff for Super Bowl XLIX, which means if you haven't gotten your bets down, you'd best get crackin'.

(The Blob, without any confidence whatsoever, is picking the Seahawks. Place your wagers accordingly).

There is, of course, a lot to bet on. Prop bets have become almost as much a Super Bowl meme as Super Bowl commercials, and there are a million of them. I mean, almost literally a million.

Want to know if Marshawn Lynch will grab his crotch again? You can bet on that.

Want to know if Bill Belichick will smile on camera?  You can bet on that, too.

Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first (teammates are at 3-2, God at 2-1). What color will the Gatorade be that gets dumped on the winning coach's head (orange goes off at 3-2). What will Belichick's reaction be if it's him ("Snarls 'Get that bleep away from me'" is the 3-2 favorite).

OK. So I made up that last one.

The others, though, are legit, plus many more. But just to prove you can never beat a good thing into the ground, the Blob has come up with a few others ...

1. When will Ben makes his first daylight raid on the queso? ("Noon" is the 2-1 favorite).

2.  How many times will Ben's wife, Julie, say, "Who's Russell Wilson again?" ("More than four" is the leader in the clubhouse at 3-1).

3. Will Ben recognize anything Katy Perry sings at halftime? ("No" is 2-1. "Hell, no" is 5-4).

4.  What are the odds Ben gets up during a break to retrieve another beer, and misses the best Super Bowl commercial? ("Really good" comes in at 3-2. "Of course he will" is 4-1).

5.   Will there be a Super Bowl commercial better than the Snickers ad starring Danny Trejo as Marcia Brady and Steve Buscemi as Jan? ("Not bloody likely" is 4-5).

And last but not least ...

6. What will Ben's reaction be after he falls asleep in the middle of third quarter and then wakes up in time to see Belichick raise the Lombardi Trophy? ("This is a hell of a nightmare I'm having" is your 2-1 favorite).


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