And now this week's installment of the chronically overlooked Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. It's Tuesday morning and Ben Roethlisberger just threw another touchdown pass.
2. Aaaand another.
3. Aaaand, what the heck, let's make it one more.
4. Hey, look, everyone, it's Jimmy Garaoppolo!
5. ... watching Tom Brady, clinging to the last frayed remnants of his fading career, engineer a paltry 51 points for the hopelessly obsolete Patriots, who once again failed spectacularly to lose.
6. Speaking of which, the Bears are not in disarray. Reliable sources indicate they are simply making a temporary course correction to avoid an onrushing iceber--
7. This just in: Peyton Manning 1, Scoreboard Operator 0.
8. This just in, Part Deux: Manning 1, Fun 0.
9. Hey, didn't you used to be Blaine Gabbert?
10. Oh, wait, it's Cam Newton. Our bad.