And now this week's installment of the nearly played-out Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words ...
1. It's Tuesday morning and Ted Nugent just shanked another field goal.
2. Oops, make that "Mike Nugent."
3. Although Ted Nugent probably could have made the thing.
4. Meanwhile, Tom Brady and the Patriots beat the Bills, despite being dead and all.
5. Hey, look, the Cowboys are 5-1!
6. Which means they're the most awesome team in the history of football!
7. Because, well, they're the Cowboys. And they're 5-1. And, you know, they're the Cowboys.
8. You know who's not better than RG III after all? Kirk Cousins.
9. You know who might be better than RG III? Blake Bortles.
And last but not least:
10. Hey, didn't you used to be the Pittsburgh Steelers?,