Cruds alert!*

(*Which this morning is actually an Old Man Shouting At Clouds alert, even if it does involve my right-now-only-marginally-cruddy Pittsburgh Pirates)

So, anyone see what happened in Milwaukee the other night?

Pirates rookie sensation Paul Skenes was cruising through seven against the Brewers, scything through the home nine with the sort jaw-dropping stuff that has his ERA under two at the moment. And then ... 

And then some sort of pitch count alarm went off or something. 

Seems Skenes had thrown 99 pitches, and apparently he was not allowed to throw one pitch more. So he came off the mound at the end of seven, and Pirates manager Derek Shelton told him he was done for the night.

This despite the fact Skenes had struck out 11 Brewers and showed no signs of letting up.

This despite the fact he was six outs away from becoming the 26th rookie in MLB history to throw a no-hitter.

No matter. Seven innings, 11 strikeouts, no hits, and, sorry, son. The timer went off, so hit the showers.

The Old Man Shouting At Clouds in me finds this absolutely insane.

Crazy Town. Straitjacket City. All that.

And, yeah, OK, I get it, this is 2024 and Paul Skenes is not a ballplayer but a Very Expensive Investment, and Very Expensive Investments must be protected at all costs. Even if it means shutting down a no-hitter or not letting the VEI pitch in the playoffs (See: Steven Strasburg). Even if it means all the other ways teams protect VEIs from, well, actually doing what made them VEIs to begin with.

I suppose this is what some people call smart business. Not me, understand, but some people.

What I call it is the opposite of that, and one reason among many why baseball is becoming increasingly irrelevant among generations not yet eligible for Medicare. Why come out to the ballpark to watch a wonder-of-the-age like Paul Skenes throw seeds, if you know you're never likely to see him pitch a no-no? Or at least a pure no-no?

And by "pure no-no," I mean a no-no where the pitcher throwing it finishes what he started. Which to me is the only real no-no, because to me one of the saddest sentences in the English language is "Joe Blow and three relievers combined on a no-hitter for the Fightin' Meatheads."

Yeah, boy. That'll get 'em out to the ballpark!

"But Mr. Blob," you're saying now. "What if they'd left Skenes in the game, and on his 120th pitch he'd blown out his elbow?"

Gee, I don't know. What if he'd blown out his elbow on his third pitch? Or his 23rd? Or his 33rd?

What if he'd done it putting on his shirt in the clubhouse?

Sounds like exaggeration to make a point, but in an era when teams shut down the likes of a Paul Skenes because he felt a "twinge" or "discomfort", how much of an exaggeration is it? If you're that worried about the guy getting hurt, why send him out there at all?

Skenes is a big, strong kid who wasn't in any distress at all when Shelton yanked him the other night. In fact, he was in complete command. So for what exactly were the Pirates saving him?

The fan in me thinks he knows the answer to that.

See, as a fan, I know how the Buccos think, and more importantly I know what a bunch of skinflints they are. Under the ownership of chief skinflint Bob Nutting -- who seems never to have met a nickel he couldn't squeeze until it screamed -- the Pirates have earned a rep for developing young talent and then trading that talent when it comes time to pay talent-level money. And so I already know what's going to happen with Paul Skenes.

If he stays on his current trajectory, the Bucs will trade him as soon as they have to pay him. And so it's pretty obvious for what the Pirates are saving him.

They're saving him for the Yankees.

Or the Red Sox. Or the Dodgers. Or the Cubs, the Braves, the Phillies.

Sigh.