This just in from the world of men's soccer, where yesterday Ronaldo first cried and then rejoiced, and Ronaldo's young teammate made himself a legend, and there was joy in every heart in Panama and Uruguay:
Our boys still suck at this game.
Our boys, representing the United States of America, by god, last night crashed out of Copa America, the Western Hemisphere's version of the Euro Cup tournament that's being played simultaneously across the pond. Didn't even make the knockout round, our boys. Lost 1-0 to the Uruguayans to bow out of the tournament in the group stage.
This despite the fact American boys have been playing soccer since Pele turned them onto the game a whole pile of years ago.
This despite the fact there are youth soccer camps everywhere in the U.S. now, and youth soccer leagues everywhere, and everyone says the latest progeny of those camps and leagues are the "golden generation" of American men's soccer.
And, yes, this despite the fact the American women have been one of the top sides in the world for almost 30 years.
The men, however, still can't get out of their own way, golden generation or not. This is the same ballyhooed group of young talent that reached the knockout stage of the World Cup two years ago, suggesting the USMNT was on the cusp of breaking through into the game's elite. And why not? Who had more resources to develop talent than USA! USA!?
And then ...
And then came Copa America.
Where the USMNT played uninspired, un-creative soccer, and also dumb soccer. How else to explain Timothy Weah getting an early red card against group winner Panama, compelling the team to play shorthanded the rest of the match? How else to explain the on-field lapses that led to a 1-3 group record?
The answer to that for a lot of folks is USMNT coach Gregg Berhalter, and some of the blame for the team's star-spangled splat certainly belongs to him. But he's only the latest coach who couldn't milk consistency from the USMNT. And so at some point it has to be the players who are the problem -- which, to their credit, the players acknowledged after last night's loss.
In any case, the hard truth has once more been borne out: We're not a soccer nation, at least on the men's side. Hell, we're not even much of a baseball nation anymore.
We're a basketball nation. We're a football nation. That's what we are, men's side.
Meanwhile ...
Meanwhile, a real soccer nation, Portugal, reached the quarterfinals of Euro 2024 yesterday.
They beat Slovenia on PKs, 3-0.
They beat Slovenia even though Slovenia's goalkeeper made a stunning save on the legendary Ronaldo on a free kick late in extra time, prompting Ronaldo to break down in tears.
But then it got to PKs, and Ronaldo buried his, and Portugal's keeper -- Diogo Costa, playing in his first international tournament -- did the almost unheard of, stopping three consecutive Slovenian attempts to send Portugal to the next round.
Great game. Great moment.
Maybe someday we'll have a moment like that. Maybe.
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