Today in unpopular opinions

 The Summer Olympics are coming up next month in Paris, and so now the various Olympic Trials are commanding the headlines -- track and field; swimming in a temporary 50-meter pool in Lucas Oil Stadium, unofficially the ninth wonder of the world; and of course everyone's favorite, women's gymnastics.

("Hey, what about the men?" you're saying now.)

("What about 'em?", I'm answering.)

Anyway, the gymnastics Olympic trials are going now, and they were on the tube where we were eating dinner last night. This prompted me to once again trot out a Most Unpopular Opinion, which elicited the usual surprise from the friends sitting around us.

"I know it's a big deal at the Olympics, but I seriously couldn't care less about the gymnastics," I said.

"Really?" our friends said.

Really. It's true. 

Mind you, this is not because I don't think gymnasts are brave souls who, even though legendary sportswriter Dan Jenkins once dubbed them "Siamese cats" in one of his novels, play through pain that would leave macho men four times their size curled up weeping in a corner somewhere. And what they can do on a floor mat or a set of bars or a four-inch-wide plank of wood is simply astounding.

Which is why Simone Biles is one of the greatest athletes of my lifetime, and don't even try to argue. Ditto Olga Korbut, Nadia Comaneci and Mary Lou Retton back in the day.

Still.

Still, I'm just not into it. Just like I'm not much into Olympic figure skating unless Tonya Harding is trying to kneecap the competition, or into Olympic swimming unless Michael Phelps is going for his 250th gold medal or Katie Ledecky is leaving everyone so far in her wake there's no wake left by the time they get there.

The former I'm not into because the Russian judge will give the Russian skater a 10 even if she falls down 12 times.

The latter I'm not into because every four years Olympic swimmers break, like, 25 world records, which makes breaking a world record seem like a big yawn.

No, in the summer give me track and field or boxing or basketball (men's and women's), or even rowing or cycling. And give me downhill skiing or hockey or bobsledding in the winter.

The luge and skeleton, bring it on. Also ski jumping, short-track speedskating and even curling when the Danish women's team is competing.

("Typical guy," you're saying now.)

("Guilty," I'm answering.)

Anyway ... 

Here come the Summer Games. In Paris, which last played host to the Summer Games in 1924, a full century ago. That was the year Harold Abrahams shocked the world by winning the men's 100 meters and Eric Liddell won the 400 -- which is how we wound up with "Chariots of Fire" and a bunch of guys in their underwear running on some English beach, while in the background played that theme song you'll probably be hearing in your head for the rest of the day now.

("Bastard!" you're saying now.)

And what of women's gymnastics, in 1924?

There were no women's gymnastics that year. The sport didn't debut until the 1928 Games in Amsterdam. Since this was 27 years before I was born, I think we can safely say I didn't care about it then, either.

Yeah, I know. I am a terrible person.