Or Media Night. Or, as the NFL is now calling it, Opening Night, seeing as how Media Day never had much to do with the media anyway, except for the fake media who showed up dressed as superheroes and the like.
(That guy, if I recall, was from Nickelodeon. No, I don't know why he was at a gang presser for a professional football game. But he wore a cape and everything, so we interviewed him. It beat watching Bill Belchick, aka Darth Hoodie, tell some Boston radio guy he would NOT be putting on the red plastic tricorn hat the radio guy was waving at him.)
(And speaking of Boston radio guys, how about the douchenozzle who called Tom Brady's 5-year-old daughter an "annoying pissant"? Who does that? And is every Boston radio guy required to have an advanced degree in douchenozzle-ry to get on the air?)
Where was I again?
Oh, yeah. Media Day/Night.
Where once upon a time the highlights included a "media personality" from Telemundo traipsing around interviewing players via hand puppet. And where someone once asked one of the Chicago Bears -- I think it was tight end Desmond Clark, though I can't recall for sure -- what position in football Chewbacca would have played.
None of that last night. Last night, the highlights were hats, and Bill Belichick smiling.
Tom Brady donned a hat that kind of looked like the hat Billy Jack wore. Belichick wore one that belonged to his father, Steve, a longtime coach at Navy.
He also smiled, which looked kind of creepy considering how rarely he smiles in public. He did this after someone told him what Brady said when asked what could make Belichick smile, and Brady said there were four things: The Navy, lacrosse, Bon Jovi and Lawrence Taylor.
Red plastic tricorn hats, notably, did not make the cut.
Of course, Belichick already had a hat. Maybe he remembered.
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